Moments
by addictedtolove92
Summary: A series of moments in an unlikely relationship. Rating for language.
1. -1-

_Author's Note: I just want to thank you guys, again, for the support. You've encouraged me to write a little bit more. I'm warning you I did this up in about one night, on a whim, kind of tired, you get the picture. Happy reading! Let me know what you think!_

_-addicted_

**Summary: A series of moments in an unlikely relationship.**

**Moments**

**Moments in the Cribs**

Nick plops down on one of the lumpy mattresses in the cribs. He blocks out the smell of faint sweat the room seems to be swathed in. The warm air circulating in the room does little to mask the barely there, but oddly clear aroma. After over a year of working here and many more as a police officer, it's something he's used to and it hardly bothers him anymore. With a tired moan, Nick leans back and lies down against the bed. His eyes are closed and he can feel the tension in his body reducing significantly.

His instincts seem to have left him momentarily because he doesn't hear the door open, or the clack of her heels against the cold, hard floor. He only opens his eyes once he feels the dip of the small mattress and finds her next to him giving him a look that says it didn't go well.

"Not good," he says, his voice slightly raspy.

Olivia sighs. "Not good at all."

Their relationship is new and still kind of awkward. She's trying to slowly but surely let down her guard and trust him as more than just her partner and he's promised to be patient. She likes him, that much he knows. And the fact that she's giving this thing a go—despite their jobs, her issues, and _his _problems—gives him an idea on how much.

They're keeping things hush at the moment. It's only been about a month and both have agreed that they don't want to let Cragen in on it until they know, for sure, about how much time and effort they're going to actually put into it.

"Not guilty on all charges."

"You're not giving up are you?"

Olivia sighs again. She's learned, in her many years on the job, that sometimes it's just not worth the headache. You win some, you lose some.

"I think Amanda can handle this one," she replies after a brief pause for thought.

Nick gives her a small smile. "Is this your way of, um, 'delegating'?"

Liv rolls her eyes. "This is my way of reducing my case load, smart ass."

"So that you can have more downtime?" he asks smoothing his thumb over her fingers.

She chuckles as he pulls her down toward him, his hand gently wrapped around her wrist. "Somehow I don't think 'downtime' is what you had in mind."

* * *

**The Roof**

Sometimes she wonders what the hell possessed her to start this thing with Nick. She should've learned with Cassidy that office relationships never pan out well. Yet, here she is, going against her first mind, her gut instinct, partaking in this disaster-in-the-making.

"You have a lot of nerve, Nick," she says. Her words are sharp but calm and her body language tells him that she's a little more than pissed.

Being in a relationship with her doesn't make her any less intimidating but he's learning to stand his ground with her. "_I _have a lot of nerve? What about you?" he spits out.

"What about me?" she answers harshly.

"Olivia, you can't just do whatever the fuck you want anymore. You're in a relationship—"

"You don't own me!"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what _are _you saying? Because it sounds to me like that is what you're saying."

"I'm saying that when you're in a relationship you don't do whatever the hell you feel like doing! You talk about things, you discuss things."

"Us being together doesn't just erase the fact that I'm my own woman. I'm independent; that's who I am, that's who I'm always going to be. You knew that from the get."

"Yes, I did! I know what you're used to, I know who you are, Olivia, but we have to make sacrifices!"

"I am **not **about to sacrifice myself."

"I never said you had to. I just . . . if we're gonna be together, there's some things the both of us have to change. That's what a relationship is, Liv, give and take, push and pull."

This is way more than she bargained for. She understood what she'd have to give up if their . . . _thing_. . . turned into something more serious, which it is. But things are changing too fast for her and she doesn't think she can keep up.

"You can't just make decisions like this and expect me to jump on board and be okay with it," he says, his voice much calmer than before. "That's not how it works."

Liv looks away from him, her arms crossed defensively over her chest.

"There's no telling how long you're gonna be gone, Liv. We most likely won't be able to keep in touch—"

Despite it all, she can't deny how much she wants this to work. "It won't be that long."

"You don't know that!"

Truth is, she knows, deep down, that he's right and he has every right to be mad at her. They've been together for 6 months now and she's screwed it up so many times—he has too. There's already been so many obstacles and bumps in the road, so many that she's constructed, and some that he helped create. But this has to be her biggest.

". . . I don't want you to go," he finally says with such a force that she has to look up at him.

The woman in her wants to say she won't go, but there's still that voice, the voice that's slowly becoming the devil on her shoulder that's telling her she needs to go. That voice is taking over.

"I made a commitment."

Nick gives her one final look; of disappointment and hurt. Then he turns on his heel and makes his way to the door. She feels herself jump when it slams shut.

* * *

**Communication and Pivots**

Olivia leans against the doorframe of her bedroom with her fluffy, white robe wrapped tightly around her and her hair falling down her shoulders—still damp from their little shower/bathtub tryst. She watches him from where she stands. He's in the kitchen leaning against her counter looking down at the cup of water in his hands.

They've finally made up after three days of much needed space. Even though, deep down, she's come to terms with the fact that she actually really missed him. The thought still blows her mind. Standing there, watching him, she can see the lingering defeat and hurt she seemed to have missed in the hours before. Granted, they'd hardly done any talking. And seeing as though they're both up, now is the perfect time to talk it out . . . rationally.

"Something going on in there?" Liv asks softly as she enters the kitchen area.

Nick casts a glance up at her with a slight grin on his face. "Nope. It's just regular old ice water."

"You do know it's 2 o'clock in the morning right?"

"Says the woman who hardly ever sleeps."

She chuckles. "This is normal for me. But from what you've told me you are strongly against waking up before 6 o'clock . . ."

"Yea," he says smiling at her, "well you must be rubbing off on me."

Liv walks over to the counter across from him and mirrors his stance, her face set in that 'I'm-not-buying-that-bull' expression she gives to suspects and perps when she knows they're lying. ". . . The only time you're up this late is when you have something on your mind."

Nick visibly deflates. He has no idea why he tries with her. She's an expert at reading people. Maybe he was hoping that she'd sleep right through this . . . quite tirade going on inside his head. A man can dream.

". . . Maybe we should hold off on this conversation, Liv."

She shakes her head. She's turning over a new leaf and tackling problems as they rear their ugly heads, especially now when it counts the most. "If we don't do this now, it's possible that we may never get back to it . . . I don't want this to be a problem 6 months from now, or a year from now, Nick. I want us to talk about this, hash it out, and move on."

". . . I just . . . I'm hurt, okay? I thought that we were at a place in our relationship where we could, you know, start making decisions together . . ."

"We are," Liv says her eyes locked on his. "It's just . . . I'm not making excuses . . . I just, I need you to understand that it's been just me all my life. I haven't had to go to another person to talk about a decision that needs to be made in my life."

"I'm not just 'another person' Liv, I'm your boyfriend."

Liv runs her fingers through her hair. "You're not understanding what I'm saying."

"I do understand what you're saying. I just want you to understand what I'm saying too and we have to meet half way. Liv, I'm not trying to run your life or tell you what to do, I just want you to acknowledge the fact that I'm part of your life now too. I want to be a part of your decision-making process and I want you to actually consider **us **in that too. And I want you to trust me. I don't think that's too much to ask."

Liv considers his words for a moment.

". . . . . . . So, how do you feel," she begins slowly, cautiously because this is new for her, "about me going undercover for a while. Honestly." And she looks back up at him.

He appreciates what she's trying to do. ". . . Honestly," he answers, "I don't want you to. And my reasons are completely selfish. I don't care. This is still kind of new and we're still getting into the groove of things. I like having you around."

She smiles at that. "I like having you around too."

". . . But?"

". . . I'll tell them to find someone else."

"What?" he asks, clearly confused.

"I've been doing some thinking myself . . . And my reasons for not going are completely selfish as well."

Nick chuckles as she pushes herself off the counter.

"I like you, **a lot**, Nick, and I do think that this is going somewhere. Leaving now could . . . set back any progress we're making right now. I don't want that to happen."

"Me neither."

". . . So can we go back to bed now that this is settled?" Liv asks holding out her hand to him.

The smile on Nick's face never falters as he entangles his fingers with hers. "I think we can."

As she leads him back to her bedroom she gives him a look. "I hope you don't think you're gonna get your way every time we have an argument."

"Believe me when I say I know," he says shutting the door closed.

* * *

**Three Little Words**

Olivia stands in the corner of the interrogation room as Nick talks to one of their witnesses/person of interest. She can't help but notice the twenty-something girl's body language and the way everything she says is directed at Nick—including her abundant cleavage. She's blatantly flirting with him and he's sitting there eating the shit up like she's not standing there. It's taking all of her training and will power to remain stoic and to calm herself down. It's immensely disconcerting, actually, how possessive she's feeling where Nick is concerned.

". . . So he's your ex-boyfriend?" Nick asks bringing her out of her reverie.

The girl leans back in her chair, making it a point to show off her long, toned legs, and shrugs nonchalantly. "Somethin' like that."

"What does that mean?"

She shrugs again and swings her leg back and forth each time inching closer and closer to Nick's.

"Lydia?"

"It means that we used to fool around a little bit. He lived in the apartment across from me for over 3 years. Sometimes I'd have 'dry spells', he used to get me off from time to time."

Nick nods and chances a glance at Olivia. He can feel the tension radiating off her as she looks on.

"Olivia," Cragen calls poking his head into the room and motioning for her to step outside.

Nick watches as Olivia walks out of the room to talk to Cragen then quickly snaps out of it when he feels Lydia's finger trailing up his hand. He stands up at this and walks across the small room.

". . . Have you ever been in love Detective Amaro?"

The question catches him off guard, but he bounces back before she has the chance to notice that she threw him off. "I don't know anybody who hasn't, Lydia."

She chuckles. "I don't think I have. I mean, I thought that maybe I could be in love with Tommy but it turned out that he was a freaking creep."

"Tommy was a creep?"

Lydia snorts as she plays with her bracelet. "You were in his apartment, you saw the freaky stuff he had; binoculars, cameras, and shit like that. He told me that it was shit for his job but, as I got to know him, I kinda put two and two together . . . Wanna know the real fucked up part about it?"

Nick just looks at the top of her head. When she looks back up he can see the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

"I think I still do a little bit . . . Love him, I mean."

She sniffles and Nick slides the box of tissue over to her.

"It doesn't just go away, you know?"

"I know."

She chuckles and dabs at her eyes a bit. "Serves me right, I guess. It's not like I deserve to be loved or anything."

Olivia walks back into the interview room quietly as Lydia goes right back into character—eyes still red rimmed—as if she hadn't just been crying. She flips her hair and runs her fingers through the curly tresses, never noticing Olivia or caring.

". . . You have a girlfriend, Detective Amaro?"

Nick just chuckles. "I don't think that's any of your business."

She ignores him and continues on. "A guy like you _has _to have somebody in his life and since I don't see a ring on your finger, I'm guessing you do have a girlfriend. Just tell me if I'm right or wrong."

"Yes, Lydia, I do have a girlfriend."

"Are you in love with her?" she asks leaning into the table.

Despite her surroundings and her better judgment, Liv looks at Nick who is just standing there trying his best not to look back at her. Their eyes lock for a split second then he forces himself to look at Lydia who's waiting for his answer. She definitely doesn't feel the heavy tension in the room that makes it painfully obvious that the words have yet to be said.

It's something she thinks about from time to time, especially when they have one of their moments or making love or just being together. She'd like to be able to tell him, but the fact of the matter is; she's scared out of her mind that if she actually says the words, something will happen to ruin with they have. And she knows that that's pretty irrational, but it's how she feels.

Nick knows she needs to hear the words and needs to hear them again until she knows, without a doubt that he has no intentions of going anywhere, ever. So he hopes he's forgiven for throwing caution to the wind and looking over Lydia's head into Olivia's eyes and he hopes that Cragen doesn't notice what he's about to say to Liv—but not to Liv.

He nods his head, never feeling more sure about anything and replies. "Yes. Yes, I'm very much in love with my girlfriend."

The interrogation ends about 20 minutes later and Liv can honestly say that after Nick's admission to her—but not to her—everything else Lydia said sounded like a foreign language in her mind. Now, she stands at the elevator waiting for it to open so that she can go speak to another vic. She hears the almighty ding and waits for it to clear out before she makes her way inside. Olivia presses the button for the ground floor and as the doors close, a familiar hand quickly slips between them and they open back up.

"I thought you were gonna wait for me," Nick says stepping inside next to her.

She looks at him and opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Then the doors close and she doesn't know what takes over her, what makes her step in front of him and wrap her arms around his neck. She has no clue what makes her pull his head down and capture his lips in the most mind-blowing kiss either has ever had to date. But it happens, at work, in the elevator, and she has no regrets. When she finally pulls away it's in time for the elevator doors to pull open, and she moves back to her previous spot on the side of him. Perfectly composed, as professionals should be, they walk outside as if nothing ever happened.

Liv throws the keys at Nick and they both slide into the car.

"I love you too," she says before he pulls off.

**The End**

**Ooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrr . . . . . . . . **

**To be continued (Yes, no, maybe so?)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything!**

**All mistakes are definitely my own. I have no betareader . . . **_**sigh**_


	2. -2-

**Author's Note: As promised, here you are!**

**Moments**

**Communication and Pivots II**

Nick walks her up to her apartment, hanging back a few feet. He's upset with her . . . Honestly, he doesn't even know if he should be mad, or hurt, or disappointed. But he feels those feelings anyway.

"Are you coming in?" Olivia asks as she walks into her apartment.

Nick's standing in front of the door, his suit jacket open and tie undone—and to her, he's never looked more handsome; no that's not the word . . . sexy.

". . . No," he says stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I should get home to Zara."

Olivia's brow creases questioningly. "I thought you said she and your mom were having a sleep over?"

He shrugs. "Mom should have some me-time . . ." he trails off with his lame excuse. "I'll call you when I get home."

Nick leans in and gives her a quick peck on the lips.

"Uh . . . Love you," she says genuinely confused.

Nick nods. "Love you too."

* * *

In the half hour it takes Nick to call her, Olivia's gone from confused to upset to completely pissed off and she's ready for his call, waiting patiently for his call so that she can tell him off. When her phone finally does vibrate on her bedside table, she's sitting on her bed clad in a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Though she's expecting a call, it's only a text that simply reads 'back'.

Olivia sighs in frustration. Sometimes being in a relationship with Nick is like being in a relationship with a woman. He's sensitive and open and sometimes everything she's not. It's taken her quite some time to be comfortable and secure enough with him to be able to open up to him the way he wants her to. He's always been able to be completely open and honest with her. He says it's part of what attracted him to her; she radiates trust and loyalty and he knows he's safe with her. But even though she feels the same way about him, she's still found it hard to let her guard down because she's felt that way before towards a man and it's always ended in disappointment.

But she's determine to not let this relationship end the same way so she disregards the annoyingly vague message that is so irritatingly Nick and calls him.

"Hello?" he answers, bothered.

"What's the problem, Nick?"

"What problem?"

"Aren't we passed this stage in our relationship?"

"Aren't we passed the part of our relationship where you finally introduce me as your boyfriend and not just your damned partner?" he snaps suddenly.

". . . What?" comes her confused reply.

"I'm tired of guessing all the time with you, Liv . . . I mean, sometimes I feel like you're actually in this for the long haul and then . . . Then there's times like these when I feel like we're back at square one."

". . . I . . ."

"I know you're not an openly affectionate woman and I know it's hard for you, Olivia, but it's been 9 months . . . I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you."

"I'm sorry, Nick . . . I just . . ."

"I know you love me, Liv. There's no doubt in my mind that you do. I just need to know that we're working toward the same goal, that you're all in."

A single tear falls from Liv's eye. "I am."

Nick nods. "Say it."

"I'm all in."

"Now prove it."

"How?"

"Open the door," he directs her and ends their call.

Olivia does as she's told and walks to her door. When she opens it Nick is standing there looking as disheveled and delicious and sexy as before. Liv lets the phone fall out of her hand as she wraps her arms around Nick's neck. Her eyes close and her lips instantly connect with his.

**Ready**

It happens after a long night of arguing over the state of their relationship—as always—Nick's divorce, and his custody issues. Liv feels like he's hiding things from her where Maria's concerned and insists that he tell her what's going on. He feels that it's basically none of her business and that she shouldn't even be worrying about it. He says that that part of his life is off limits to her. Olivia is hurt; they've shared everything up to this point and for him to leave her out of this is a complete violation of trust. Nick doesn't see it that way. He just doesn't want any confusion between his soon-to-be ex-wife and his girlfriend. Then, feeling slighted, Liv grabs her things and exits his apartment.

It gives him time to consider her side of things, how she's feeling. Soon, he realizes that Liv wants from him what he wants from her; openness and honesty. She doesn't in any way want to insert herself where she doesn't belong, she just wants to be there for him and he's not letting her. So he gets dress, brings Zara to his mother's, and makes his way to Olivia's apartment. When he gets there it takes him twenty minutes to get her to buzz him in and another thirty to get her to listen to him. Then he spills his guts; tells her all about the divorce proceedings, lets her know that he's seeking sole physical custody of his daughter, and that he does, indeed, want her support. And of course she does just that.

Then something dawns on him. Through all of this; everything with Maria and Zara and the lawyers and the changes, Liv's never left his side. Before tonight, she's known no details on the matter, but she's dealt with his moods, his anger, his childishness, and his pain and baggage by giving him nothing but love. There's no words he can say to thank her for that, for not only supporting him, but Zara too. He realizes that she's the best friend he's ever had.

They're lying on her sofa now; him with his back against armrest and Liv with her back against his chest. He's suddenly hyper-aware of the tiny box nestled safely in his pocket. Liv's saying something about food and hunger as he pulls his hands away from hers and slides it into said pocket. He wraps his hand around it, never once hesitating to take it out, but wondering if this is the right time and place. And that phrase 'there's no time like the present' resonates in his head and he pulls it out. Olivia is mumbling, still, something about ordering take out because she's starving as he holds the open box out for her to see.

He can tell when she's finally noticed it because her words trail off and her breath catches. He feels it when her body stiffens and her hand that's resting on his free arm relaxes its grasp.

". . . I know we haven't talked about this, Olivia, but I know we're supposed to be here, together. You are the best friend I've ever had . . . I . . . You don't have to answer right now. I can wait as long as you need me to, but I just want you to know that I want to be your husband one day. Whether it's soon or not is completely up to you."

" . . . What about your divorce?"

"It'll be final within the next two months. Liv, don't think you have to give me an answer—"

For a while all she can do is mentally encourage herself not to cry, will the tears to stay at bay. And a million thoughts flit and flutter within her mind, and none of them matter.

"Ask me."

Nick, thoroughly confused replies, "What?"

From her position resting comfortably against him she looks over her shoulder at him. "Ask me, Nick." She pulls herself up and turns around with the most brilliant, teary smile on her face.

The words finally registering in his mind, he smiles back at her. "Okay . . . Olivia Benson . . . will you _please _be my wife?"

She laughs at his emphasis on the word 'please' and nods. "Yes."

**Lunch Date**

After 11 months of dating, they've finally clued Cragen in on their relationship. It went much better than Nick had expected, but slightly worse than he would've liked. Of course what he would've like was, admittedly, a bit on the naïve side. There's no way they could still be partners after disclosing such a thing, but he's just grateful that there's no immediate need for either one of them to transfer. Despite all of the changes that will soon be taking place in their professional lives, though, he's really happy. He feels like they're taking a step in the right direction. It feels a little more official now that they won't have to sneak around and pretend anymore. It's refreshing.

"Hey," she says sitting down across from him. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine. I haven't been here too long."

Olivia nods twisting a brown paper napkin between her fingers, a sign that everything's not okay.

". . . Liv?"

She looks up from her menial, yet seemingly interesting task. "Yea?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Nick." _He'll definitely believe that, Olivia._

"That napkin you're twisting around is telling me a different story. What's going on Liv?"

". . . I had an appointment today." _Yes, just tell him, get it over with._

"An appointment?"

"An appointment with my doctor." _Nick, I'm pregnant._

"Oh."

". . . I told her I've been feeling . . . not like myself for the past few weeks." _I'm pregnant, Nick._

A look of concern crosses Nick's face. "You're sick?"

"I've been feeling kind of . . . nauseous and drained and . . . I'm late."

Nick stares at her, completely clueless. _And this man calls himself a detective. NICK, I'm PREGNANT!_

Liv sighs. "Nick . . . I'm 6 weeks pregnant."

_**-I think they should call her . . . Stella!-**_

**T B C ? (IDK yet, most likely yes. This'll probably be an ongoing series of little shorts for my amusement and hopefully yours.)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, no one, and anything. And all mistakes are my own.**


End file.
